You are allowed to feel weak. You aren’t useless because of weak.
You’re surrounded by lies. Society emphasises hyper masculinity and those are the lies which have been lying to you since you were little. Since you were little you were told the world doesn’t care for your feelings. This is particularly damaging to women of culture, but men suffer too. No question about itThe bottling up of feelings, having to forget them… Having to live with the burden of your emotions being undervalued in society.
It isn’t weak to speak up, ask for help, seek professional counselling. And weak isn’t a bad thing. The burden to be strong put on men, particularly black men, is a huge part of the problem. Got to smash that patriarchy.